Why Baking ? Events that shaped my views 0

Although I didn't wait that long - I too witnessed myself at a crossroads. I had been working in the medical field - as a biomedical tech./phlebotomist/Medical assistant. 5 years total.

Before that though, I had gotten culinary training & a chef certificate. I knew that I wanted to lean toward bakery. I interviewed and scored an internship at an upscale bakery downtown.

There I learned the Art of cake assembly & decorating of 12 different fine European style torts & gateaus [6 inch rounds (6 inch tall) 8 inch, 1/4, 1/2, full sheets]; bombs [layers of génoise chocolate sponge, cappuccino mouse, formed & then poured with chocolate ganache finished with a shell border & chocolate curl] cappuccino tarts [shortbread tart shells with a chocolate layer, filled with espresso ganache, then topped with chocolate ganache & finished with chocolate adornments]; Fresh fruit tarts[shortbread tart shell, melted chocolate @ bottom, sweet cream cheese, all types of fruits cut & arranged across the face of the tart, then covered with apricot glaze]; éclairs; gourmet cookies; tartlets; Bouche De Noël [with meringue mushrooms] ;Lemon meringue tarts; Cheese cakes; etc.

After I graduated from my culinary training I eventually was hired on, and they hired me also to fill their retail orders for Mondays. So I would come in on Sundays and basically have the cake room to myself. I would get All the products ready & racked to be transported to the 4 retail stores they had. It would take me 4-5 hours.

On one of these following Sundays, I noticed that the cake room had been stacked from floor to ceiling {every bench, every cranny was filled] with bistro chairs & tables from the retail area of the bakery. But when I entered the bakery that's what really stressed me. They had been stripping the wood floors and re-applying chemicals to varnish the floors. There were very little walls in the space - so all these fumes were drifting into all corners of the building.

The fumes were so bad I had trouble focusing. My then boyfriend was in the contracting trade, & he had made comments about the safety of working around those fumes- -- not to mention the products safety. I also am extremely sensitive to fumes.

I went upstairs to the Owner's office & repeated verbatim , what my then boyfriend had said.

The owner snickered & told his male 'companion' ,

"Show Amber to A table"

We walked down the stairs. He led me to the cake room & pointed to a small marble topped bistro table, the only one without chairs or tables stacked on it.

Well I finished my duties -- yeah it took me 8 hours instead of the typical 4. My mind was meandering , and the fumes were not dissipating (no windows/ air) . After I left, I resolved not to go back there again. I figured if the owner didn't care about me or the product -- why work there?

But part of me has been holding on to that since. I felt conflicted. That was the only job I have ever walked away from. I loved what I would do each day.

My friend Joanne had told me:

"You ARE SO lucky! That is my dream job!"

Then part of me wonders if said boyfriend was devious enouph to make me think I should quit? He had been guilty of other far worse things, which came to light later on. He knew that I loved that job. But then again that is really ridiculous.

My second week of school I asked my Baking instructor if I could speak to him. I sat down and told him the whole story. I had to hold back tears. My voice wavered with all the pain and self conflict I had been holding so near to my heart. I asked him if fumes like that were a bad thing.

He replied,"

"That it depends on the products you had been working with. If it was buttercreams or pastry creams --- anything of that nature, the fumes would be absorbed...."

The more that I told him, the better I felt. He told me to let it go. So I am not as apprehensive as I was the first few days of being in the bakery environment again.

When I look back , or when people ask me "Why Baking?". I think the true turning point was maternity leave, after the birth of my first child. Then I decided to go part time, as my job was really demanding & stressful. There were no set hours & overtime was happening quite frequently. Once I did that , only working 1-2 days a week instead of 50+ hours. I was able to really do some soul searching. I realized what I really wanted in life.

The things that shape us - Grade school incidents 1

When I was 8 yrs old,my class was assigned to write about the seasons - mainly Fall. I set out my large ruled paper & newly sharpened pencil & set to work. I finished and came up with this:


When Autumn's curse comes alive,

And spreads it's
loneliness throughout the land ,

Leaves crack and crows caw for they are
all creatures of Fall.

squirrels quarrel with the mice and leaves fall
because they have lost their lives.

--- Amber © 1989. All rights Reserved.

I was truly excited to show the teacher. When she took the paper from my hands, I couldn't help but grin. But a frown slowly moved across her face. She looked at me squarely, and shrilly asked:

"where did you get this? What book did you copy this from ?"

I was taken aback. I had written this, like many of my other poems - the words seem to fall right onto the paper, with little editing. I couldn't understand the disgust she showed toward me.

Her voice grew louder & shriller - she was making an example of me.

"If you don't own up to this lie, and tell me what book you got this poem from,
you will go out into the hall - to think about what you've done!" she remarked. Her face flushed.

I stuck to my story, for it was the truth. She grabbed my arm, pulling me out into the hallway. I was alone, left to internalize this chain of events.

I know now that she had probably figured that a girl from a poor background and divorced, single parent home could never have parents who educated her, better yet encouraged her artistic side.


But that was the opposite. I led a happy existence. My mother was always full of creative ideas to keep little kids occupied. She had encouraged my creativity, more than that she had awakened my thirst for original thought.

Link: Bread Snobbery? Arrogant Baker? You be the judge! 0

"I love to make bread too, but I make the bread, I do not delegate that very
pleasant, calming, almost therapeutic task to a machine. Bread machines were
devised by the Japanese, a culture that has no historic connection to real
bread.

Real bread, of course, is made by hand--it is "artisinal" in the
best sense of that word. Bread making becomes a craft, one works the dough with
one's hands--and arms, and shoulders. You punch the dough, massage it, roll it
under your palms. You look in after it, as it quietly sits and rises. You work
your life and the life of the bread together, so you can be there when it needs
you, to punch it down, to shape it, to bake it.
I have never eaten bread
made from a bread machine. I do not want to. Bread is too closely connected to
the daily life of humans to let a machine do it, and do such a poor job of
it--of bread making--at that.
Do yourself a favor. Make bread by hand. Touch
the dough. Make it live for you. Just throwing flour and yeast and water into a
machine and then eating the results is more than I can stand to contemplate." -- Ron

This comment was left on The food blog : On her first entry in Culinary Epiphanies . She then actually publishes an entry devoted to the comment here , and readers also comment. I myself reacted to this comment. There are too many arrogant bastards in the world.

If you come upon this entry while searching for Arrogant Bastard Ale - you'll find the official website here.

Here is how I responded:

Posted by Amber @ 02/14/2005 02:30 PM PST
Ron's example of "baking snobbery"
is ridiculous. I don't agree with his "breadophile" logic.

I am a
student learning pastry/baking. I have had past experiences in the baking &
culinary industry.

I would like to state a few points:

First ,
most people who purchase "artisan" breads - can't tell infant if it was indeed
frozen bake-off, meaning the bakery /grocery bought the dough from a factory
that was made & pre formed-- gasp -- by automated machines. And the
bakery/grocer proofed & baked it.

Less than 50% of bakeries are
"scratch" - using all their own formulas, scaling by hand etc.

With that
being said what really is baking? Is it the thought and time - whether automated
or not- that goes into creating something? Is it Being able to control the
ingredients that go into your product?

Who is the better person -
someone who enjoys the end product, or someone who is casting stones at those
who can evolve with technology or modern equipment.

I have made bread by
hand, & tasted bread machine bread. And guess what ? The chemical reactions
& fermentation stay the same. The end result, is bread. The fact that home
bread baking in any form, continues to exist is really great.

IF Ron
wants to go after someone - go after the giant corporations - adding chemicals
to their product - like Potassium Bromate[which has banned internationally
except for the U.S, & that is carcinogenic(causes cancer).

--- Amber
(culinary novice)

Culinary vs. Baking --- the icky blue line. 0

I asked a fellow baking student about the separation - the unspoken divide, that exists between baking students and culinary students.

Thin Blue Line by Derbeth

This was his response :

"It has always been there. No one has even tried to end the separation. When I first started, I started sitting over at the culinary table -- to visit with the former chef, he sat alone and I'd offer to sit with him. Everyone WOULD FREAK OUT if I mentioned going there...they told me: See that blue line the tile on the floor creates --- this is a line no-one will cross. IT is looked down upon."

I told him: "I had already committed that "taboo", no wonder I get looks". He laughed uneasily.

Another student , this time from culinary - had this to say:

"Bakers bake, cooks cook. Nothing more to that. We leave each other well enough alone, the only exception - lunch, or when we are hungry for some pastry."

Another culinary student - More brazen, actually came up to us (on our baking "turf"), though it was only the 3 of us, due to an earlier lunch because of the station we were in, he still came up to us and said this :

"I am trying to bridge the gap between baking and culinary. I am trying to make conversation with everyone."

Unfortunately he never attempted this ballsy move with the larger baking crew. He hasn't attempted this since.

It really is quite bizarre. And the main thing is everyone carries on this behavior as if we are rival fraternities. The right of passage for either is one's ability to ignore the other or avert your eyes . Doing this allows you full privileges inside the esteemed circle.

This is truly not what I was hoping to find. We are not part of some large & evil plot in a movie, we are just students learning.

And the funny thing is I have been on both sides. So far my previous culinary classes were so great. I loved the friends I made and all the memories. We had a blast.

So I imagined I would share this again. But it is awkward to try joining in on this bizarre discrimination. The problem is I have already made my stand. And people fear change.

More Random street comments... 2

Well, while making some adjustments to my formulas, I was approached by a man with a mullet & a pink backpack.

He asked me if I was a student of {a really crappy school- that somehow has a good reputation w/ the general public}, I said "No", he said "good girl".

I thought he would leave me alone but he swung back around. He started talking about how he "had owned 40+ restaurants, was a sous chef, world traveled & could cook anything."

Then he proceeded to brag in a nervous yet confident tone about "leading the march, for all the injustices in the world....The bus drivers pass me up when they see me, they won't stop...I will fuck anyone up who tries to put me down...I'm going to get him --- make a mess out of him, and put it on the internet (I laugh nervously) NO, I Will! Fuck these people who don't treat homeless people right!

Then he throws a earring at me. "This is what preacher does..He hands out things to all the street kids -ain't that cool? That's what I'm about. I don't do any drugs or alcohol. At the AA meetings I go to {o.k ?} I see these punks go & then buy drugs outside of the meeting -- fuck that! I go after them, tell them I'll mess them up if they do that shit around here...."

After He was gone, a guy with punk gear on, sunglasses & a la brae piercing looks over at me and says: "Were you impressed? Well were you? I think he was trying to win you over."

O.k not impressed, just weirded out. I pray he doesn't act out his plan. But if he does I will have a suspect --- his face is ingrained in my memory.

What did I learn from this experience? No more Smiling & nodding. If I am uncomfortable leave. If you hear something wrong - memorize that person's face - you never know if you'll meet the next America's Most Wanted .

Waging a war?? Me or them.... 0

Long enough, I said. Long enough. Awkwardness. I arrive in the morning and I am confronted with the icky sweet fakeness. Another day to smile at the new kid ---not really wanting to know who she is, just wanting to seem nice, for convenient approval.

This bothers me so damn much. I thought baking would be removed from the kiss your ass, spit on your face shit. The days usually start out, in the cafe, everyone at the "special" table. They all cower beside this table, pull there chairs up to it. Then a repeat at lunch. Baking on one side of the massive room, culinary on the other. Lines were drawn sometime ago.

So here we have it. A baking "Cliche", measured by how much you can talk about someone behind their back, and bitch. Then they make jokes " how some people don't want to be part of them", Why? When everyone must be assimilated and "go along". What kind of bullshit is that? I am a failure I guess because I am straight up. I want to know someone for who they are. Not everyone is this way though , but they tolerate this ritual, out of habit I think.

People love a chick in uniform! 1

If someone asked me : Have checkered pants, a white bakers shirt/coat and white shoes changed my image to the world???

fulton street, 2004 by joe holmes

I might have to respond with a resounding yes! Everywhere I go now I am talked to or talked at. It has been 4 days of Seinfeld-esque banter. Normally when I am walking somewhere - nothing. I was the George Costanza of my world, wondering and stressing over too little interaction. Now I feel like Kramer - getting noticed. And I don't know how I feel about this.

Round-up: WTF Street Moments ,in Chef Whites, from the week
Here are some of the best excerpts that came up in conversation, from total strangers in various times during the week.


Conversation #1

"hey..I need to ask you something. IT isn't bad. Can you get pregnant after having your tubes tied??I have been eating like a horse. I have felt movement down in "that" area..." 

I was on the bus going downtown, this woman leans across the isle whispering. O.k what is she doing telling me about "that area" ?WTF I am a total stranger.

Conversation #2

"...I bet you even have white socks on under that white uniform huh!..I would never where so much white"

Oh, sorry I guess I look, hmm, like a baker or something? I guess having a career is not a person's knowledge but their clothing.

Conversation #3

"... after work I get wild and dance on tables"

Wow, that's great, I guess?

Conversation #4

"Oh what a stupid hat...No really I love it"

Very cute -- I hope all your little friends had a great laugh.

Conversation #5

street photography By Kreative Eye - Dean McCoy

"...damn car...I spent money on a new battery, sucked the juice right out of it..Spent $150 dollars on a brand new alternator, the damn car shorted it out. That's my Merry Christmas"

This guy was nice, but for some reason he told me his car saga for like 10-15 minutes. I couldn't leave because I waiting for the bus.

Conversation #6

"...Is your name Lisa? You look like someone I know"

I get mistaken for someone at least once a day. It must be the face.

Conversation #7

" I don't cook for a living anymore, from my experience it is one big assembly line - especially if you work for The Hilton...This pays better"

O.k well I am not going to cook, I am going to bake. I actually like what I am doing, it isn't for the money.

Conversation #8

"...god I have been craving a corn dog all day - your uniform makes me even hungrier...Mexicans and Russians make tons of kids and live in a 2 bedroom apt..Asians are made for breeding."

This is the most IGNORANT thing I have heard in a while. I am so tired of people with no tact, or compassion. Poor folks are poor folks. This is 2005 and there we go with perpetuating of stereo types. Maybe you should maybe, I don't know learn a different culture?

Conversation #9

Bus Stop By Maurizio Costanzo - mavik2007

" ..please say this [a Russian woman hands me a Russian to English electronic translator, I speak several words and simplify them]...say "Babooska" - you "young girl", I am old babooska. In Russian "heavy" is lighter...[she laughs a throaty laugh]"

This woman was very kind. She was trying to better her English, and since I helped her she wanted to share her Language with me. Very cool.

Conversation  #10 (I say this loosely as I wasn't a participant)

As angry as I get by Erika Hall

" I had Hep C and thyroid problems --- but JESUS healed them, he saved my LIFE!!!"

Holy S*** , I am walking a side street, and about to cross the street, when a women driving some big '80's boat, comes half way out the window - looking at me and yelling, while the car is still moving.

She kept screaming this over & over.

O.k Jesus is great --- but guess what, Jesus might not want you to run over someone, or get into a car accident. What Would Jesus do? Pull over and  STOP THE CAR! Before exclaiming divine measures have taken place.

(Image on right is not actual picture of person, used for demonstration purposes)

Hazardous Bread ? The Inquirer strikes again.... 1

Half-Baked:
Hazardous Bread
© 1 9 9 7 - 2 0 0 0 . H E L L F I R E . C O M . A l l . r i g h t s . r e s e r v e d .

by Bryan Johnson

A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).

I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread- induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

1: More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.

2: Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3: In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4: More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5: Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6: Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.

7: Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after only two days.

8: Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.

9: Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10: Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11: Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12: Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.


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